67 Venn Street: Flash Vignette

On the 16th of June last year, at 16:51 and nineteen seconds I purchased at 32oz drink. Leroy served me. I saw Birthday Girl (15) on screen four at the Clapham Picture House. I remember none of it. That was the day you wore your grey sport cap and the blue jumper with the buttons up the front. They matched your eyes.

Afterwards we went for a drink. I had bitter and you had something blue with ice. You told me a story about your friend who broke into the lido and drowned – it sounded like you were reading from a script. After you’d gone I went back into the cinema and watched the film.

I didn’t call you again.

– Benjamin F Jones
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About Graphite Bunny

I am a writer working in South Wales (UK). I love pizza, photography and moist clay. When it rains I catch drops in my open mouth. I create poetry, flash, absurdist snapshots and humorous fiction.
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6 Responses to 67 Venn Street: Flash Vignette

  1. Really like the mood in this.

    • Thank you very much for your comment.
      There is something about the attention to what most people would consider irrelevant detail, combined with quite a limited emotional pallet that makes me think the narrator is autistic. I am very pleased with the piece.

  2. jonth says:

    This is obscure to the point of puzzlement, yet it succeeds in generating considerable discomfort in this reader. Wonderful.

    • Thank you very much. I think there is something a bit autistic about the weights, time and detail. It might be fun to do a short story or flash fiction in this style.

  3. hughcurtler says:

    Fun stuff. Leaves the reader wanting more….as good writing should.

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