Monthly Archives: June 2013

Passenger Safety

‘The train on platform three is not for public use – please do not board this train.’ . The platform shakes. I watch as a black glacier approaches the station – fifty-two wagons of coal covered in graffiti and hazard … Continue reading

Posted in Prose, Snapshots | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Motive Bomb

Mark Lucas is bored, tired, and waiting for something to happen. This room is a mess of paperwork and procrastination. At the centre is the steel case of the bomb. All it needs is a thumb on the trigger and … Continue reading

Posted in Prose, Snapshots | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

He Whined All The Way There

They say it’s for the best to have them ‘done’ – it makes them more affectionate and stops them spraying. The vet assured me that the chances of anything happening were slim. I felt guilt, it’s not a very nice … Continue reading

Posted in Humour, Prose | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Fight Fire With Fire

A stapler is the best thing for closing a paper cut. – Benjamin F Jones

Posted in Prose | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

The Essence of Ready Made Custard

The essence of ready-made custard is extracted from volcanic ‘pores’ by a process known as Broight-conversion. To reach the source, up to 100m below the Earth’s surface, superheated water is pumped down a sleeved drill which dissolves the essence and … Continue reading

Posted in Humour, Prose | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments