The Essence of Ready Made Custard

The essence of ready-made custard is extracted from volcanic ‘pores’ by a process known as Broight-conversion. To reach the source, up to 100m below the Earth’s surface, superheated water is pumped down a sleeved drill which dissolves the essence and forces a tar-like substance up through the inner tube. This essence is sprayed into large pans or ‘berths’ where it hardens in the sun to form frothy yellow ‘chunks’. This raw essence is then broken up by means of excavators and sent for refinement. It is interesting to note that despite sophisticated methods of extraction, we still rely on the custard sniffing animal Troglo Jamini to locate the nodes of compressed custard ore beneath our feet.

– Benjamin F Jones

About Graphite Bunny

I am a writer working in South Wales (UK). I love pizza, photography and moist clay. When it rains I catch drops in my open mouth. I create poetry, flash, absurdist snapshots and humorous fiction.
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6 Responses to The Essence of Ready Made Custard

  1. redmingum says:

    oh that reminds me of the first time we met working the custard fields in France…. they always had best custard until we mined their volcano’s dry back in the summer of 79

  2. Adam says:

    But what of the source of rhubarb crumble..?

    • That was last week’s post but it was censored by the Rhubarb Crumble Police – apparently the world is not ready to know where rhubarb crumble comes from… yet.

  3. Alwyn jones says:

    Mind blowing

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