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My thyroid gland exploded in a cloud of smoke. A common condition that 1 in 1000 people suffer like herpes or the smell of flowers in spring when the sun wakes up after hibernation. This has not been a winter of ice but a winter of rain. Sky remained the colour of turbochargers and soot. Possibilities are on standby and I’ve lost the remote – I’m absent in the canteen and collapse in the street. I’m dizzy with days and asleep on the bus. My eyelids are leaves falling onto a pond and the drugs work so slowly – I rage against my recovery.
Benjamin F Jones
The waterproof-creels were not thrilled to be polite and well behaved. And by some silly birthright they were expected to keep that way. The courtroom was already messed up, its sofas covered in loons and plumes and screaming filibuster minnows. They’d been warned that their fanfare of merry follies was not wanted so they’d brought a timpanist. They wanted a respectable mess-up. It was funny to see the daddy mermen, with references made of sycamore, shooing off their saucy birthrights. The court was huge, ten leapfrogs around the bulwarks, too big for the standard jury so the judge had a whisk made from sandpipers and screeching gunboats. One deadbeat daddy tried to use the motor legation in his defence so the young jurors rounded up a flock of rude legislators – the case was cut and dry – there was photographic evidence of seal modifications. The judge found everyone guilty and threatened to eat them as punishment. The creels, not used to being challenged made such a fuss that the daddy mermen broke up the court room and the vixen of some religion began screaming at the deadbeat until her passion was subdued by drowning.
- Benjamin F Jones
This piece is constructed using the oulipo method N+7 – it is a simultaneous blog with the amazing sarahpotterwrites who is also experimenting in the realm of N+7 with her piece The oximeter and the putois-catamaran. The N+7 procedure, invented by Jean Lescure of Oulipo, replaces each noun in a text with the seventh one following it in a dictionary.