Health and Safety

Darren is an expert on health and safety. He has a goatee like a sheep’s tail but no hair on his scalp. He’s visiting to raise awareness of risks both in the home and at work. Room C109 is small and they haven’t provided sandwiches. His voice sounds like a chair scraping over the floor and the subject is dull – cable management, manual handling and screen height. To spice things up Darren tells us he used to be an architect, work out regularly, and keeps a coke bottle filled with weed-killer in his shed. I wait until I hear the words ‘thank you for coming’ and head for the door.

– Benjamin F Jones

About Graphite Bunny

I am a writer working in South Wales (UK). I love pizza, photography and moist clay. When it rains I catch drops in my open mouth. I create poetry, flash, absurdist snapshots and humorous fiction.
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4 Responses to Health and Safety

  1. Oh, yes, I can just hear Darren’s voice. I’m cringing. And his weedkiller … it puts in mind a true story.

    I once lived door to an extremely bad-tempered man who, after having an argument with someone on the telephone, accidentally killed himself by swigging down some potent insecticide he used on his roses, thinking it was whisky.

  2. Aidan Lucas says:

    “a coke bottle filled with weed-killer in his shed”?

    Good job he is the H&S rep then!

    Hope all is well


    • Always take advice from people with experience!
      I am not bad thank you – just in that post moving I can’t find a bloomin thing stage at the moment. But I will get there in the end. Today I found the tweezers which were being looked for, the Tintin Books and a box full of rabbits.

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